Monday, October 25, 2010

Every Day Is Saturday

Every days a saturday my friends. I go to sleep, wake up, and yo its saturday again!

The above sentence accurately describes my life, hopefully yours too. Must be why some call me a grouch.

Anyway, this last weekend got pretty crazy. In a nutshell it was a spontaneous reunion of many old friends on both days. Nothing like sharing brews with old company. After the catching up got old, mad honeys had arrived on the scene. This perfect blonde frame with beautiful knockers caught my attention. Upon pursuing, her equally gorgeous brunette friend showed more interest in yours truly. My finger was on the trigger, but I had to adjust my crosshairs.

Target was in sight, wind and all other various elements were accounted for, or so it seemed. We hit it off well. I took the brunett, who was a bit taller than the blonde. This worked out quite well, as I'm practically 6'3", while my friends accommodated her friends: the blonde and the ever present grenade.

Homegirl was rocking some skyy like it was conjoined to her palm. Upon inquiring of said bottle, I noticed there was about one good shots worth left. I quickly began to persuade her to polish the bottle off; she was clearly already buzzing. When she refused, I turned to the blonde and suggested for her to pound the bottle like a champ. However, with her cup nearly reaching the brim, she took a sip and politely refused. Having exhausted options for getting these girls to stop lugging the bottle like a fucking weapon, the only remaining (and beneficial to me of course :P) liquor drain was myself.

I presented my impeccable plan, but these girls werent budging. I insisted that undrunken alcohol is wasted alcohol. I would save the last of this skyy from its dreadful fate, and gulp it like a boss. The ladies had other plans. As I motion for the bottle, the brunette pulls away with the bottle, after continuously getting closer to Super D. Classic women games.

At this point I am solely talking to both the brunette and blonde. The brunette looks at me and tells me that this is their liquor and that they were going to share it. Of course I have no problem with this, if only they would down it and start the real party. At this exact time Im getting seriously sexual signs from the brunette. Shes constantly rubbing her plump ass on my cock and bringing her face dangerously close to mine. This is exactly when the blonde puts on a very sexual look herself. The brunette had just finished saying how it was their liquor to share, when the blonde looks at me and in the sexiest way I remember, she says: we share everything.

If Super D wasnt hard before, he is now. The conversation continues in a direction which I think everyone on the planet would have pursued. Within 5 minutes, my friends and I nearly had these two chicks kissing. I dont remember how exactly that started, but I sure as hell remember how it ended.

Some drunken bastard must have overheard our progress, comes over and starts shouting at them to kiss. Needless to say, this ruined the moment and no such lesbian fantasies were fulfilled that night. Join me in wishing hateful shit on this douche.

My friends then went to smoke a cigarette, which left me to vocalize with the remainder of the party. I quickly strike up conversations with other fellow party goers. This was my regretful mistake.

While conversing, the two chicks start taking suggestive pictures. They sit on the couch basically on each others laps, preying on the guys desires to see them kiss. I thought to myself, I should be there with them, taking the damn picture at the very least. I digressed and planned to go in for the kill on the next opportunity.

If only I had acted a few instances sooner. Some picture happy fagboy decides he'll sit on both of their laps and whore it up. However, the provocative brunette does something unexpected, or completely expected depending on how you slice it. The pose for the picture became a photo shoot of this retard necking hard on this bitch. The blonde immediately removes herself from the situation as I stand in shock.

I hadn't seen this guy speak a word to her before this moment, they could be acquainted for all I know, but that didn't seem the case. Bitch was craving some meat, the Super D in fact. Unfortunately I had lost her when the group dispersed and the cameras came out on a count of them performing some french on each other.

The party went on, and they became another couple to hook up at the uncountable parties I have attended. I went on to bump into other females I knew; the party was definitely not lost. The drinking continued and a beer run was due back any moment. As luck would have it, the beer arrived, but not with pleasant news.

I happen to know the most annoying chick in the world. I've even had relations with her. Do not crucify me, I beg you. My soul is forever tainted for mere association with the devils beast. This devils beast, had emerged from the darkness from which she was casted, and was now in the very same room I was in.

I forgot why, but I was moving towards the room door. Like most hotels, the bathroom was closest to the door. The door opens outward and was about to hit me so I thwarted that shit. I placed my hand in prime position to close the door in order for me to walk past it. When the door cracked open, my heart felt a sharp pain that is only known to be caused by that annoying bitch. I saw her face, and decided I would not only use, but abuse my excellent hand position to slam that door in that bitches face. And thats what I did.

Eventually me and my friends got into a fight, because well, we fucking hate that bitch, and were not afraid to express our displeasure about anyone to anyone. Shit got hectic and skulls were nearly cracked. I had to hold my friend back from busting some poor faggots face who decided he would defend her. Luckily for him, drunken fights dont look too good on my friends record. My friend is not small either. We made our exit, but ended up on another floor talking to some newfound pussy.

If it werent for my free time, its safe to say Id have none.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hello World

Well this is my first official blog! Never thought I would ever have one of these, but you gotta do what you gotta do, eh. Anyway, friday was a dud. Tomorrow should make up for it one way or the other. What did yall do today/tonight?